When I walked out of the door to my garage that morning, I knew that something was wrong. It had been building for weeks. I couldn’t put my finger on it, and that worried me.
I was doing all the right things. But I was getting all the wrong results.
I didn’t know then how common it was, though. Not yet, anyway.
What I did know is that I needed to break free. But how?
I sat down in the driver’s seat of my car and closed my eyes. I took a long, deep breath. In and out.
The heaviness and yes, – I can say it now – anxiety and depression set in.
You have been there.
Over time, the mundane routine of the day-to-day wears on you. You aren’t aware of it, but micro-stresses build up over time. Sitting in traffic. Waiting on hold. Listening to (another) boring meeting.
Add in the macro-stresses of trying to get the kids out the door in the morning and then get to work on time. Then there’s work itself.
Having your boss take credit for work you did. And place the blame on you for work you didn’t do.
After that nightmare, it is getting the kids from school without being late. Oh, and to practice and piano. And at some point or another, you have to eat and feed your family…
As I backed out of the garage that morning, I felt the bright sunlight flood through my car windows. Warm. Light.
But on the inside, I was dark and heavy.
That morning I’d stepped on the scale for what seemed like the 1,000th time. Hopeful this time that it would show a decline proportional to the effort I’d put in.
Instead, it moved up.
Over the last few months, I’d tried diets. I’d tried workout programs and exercises. I’d tried taking weight loss supplements.
Three things that should work. Three things that weren’t working. At least not for me.
How could you spend an hour every day in the gym, feel like your starving yourself to death and NOT lose weight?
It felt like it was a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from.
I wanted to find a solution. But not today. I overslept, and I was already running late.