Today, as I sat behind my desk, I realized my clenched jaw. My teeth pressed together and the muscles in my face were sore.
I’d felt this way before. Tired, run down… stressed.
When I was in high school, I’d have these blinding tension headaches. Over time, they became more frequent. The muscles in my neck would constrict. My face contorted as the pain set in. And then lightening.
After a visit to a doctor, I received a simple remedy. When I noticed my jaw clenching, relax it. They hooked me up to a machine that measured my brain activity (I can’t remember the name). I practiced controlling it by relaxing my face.
Now, with work piling up, and the stress with it, I found it harder to unclinch.
I closed the office door… click. I eased back down in my chair, and I closed my eyes. I could feel my heart beating faster. It felt like the walls were closing in.
Then I remembered I had to work. I sat upright and forced myself to get through the rest of the day.
When I got home, I still sensed the stress. It made me feel tired. All motivation to workout rushed off. And I ordered a pizza.
I didn’t finish all the work that day. So after gorging myself on large pepperoni pizza and Mountain Dew, I sat in my home office and worked.
When I woke up the next morning, there was drool covering the keyboard. I fell asleep right there at my desk. I wasn’t late for work. But for sure it would be close.
To say it wasn’t a good nights sleep is an understatement.
After showering, I stepped on the bathroom scale. Two hundred and seventy-two pounds.
I dressed as fast as I could and drove to work.
The stress was getting to me. It affected my work. It affected my happiness… and as I’d soon find out, it affected my waistline.
But at that moment, I felt alone and trapped.